Nurture Program Paperwork: Complete!

Sunday marked the day when all of the necessary paperwork requirements to begin Bethlehem's Nuture Program for missionaries were submitted. We handed in our marriage compatibility analysis (Enrich questionnaire). It was a fill-in-the-dot-with-a-pencil test that asked some good questions that were difficult to answer within the five-dot range.

As with the phych evaluation for the adoption process, this test brought up some old memories of how we were raised, what we went through as we grew up, and it made us think about how our children will answer questions like these in the future about their childhood. Nothing makes you feel more like a failure than raising children. It is by the grace of God that our children grow up to be decent members of a society.

We have been in email contact with a number of the people from BHM. They are so very willing to answer questions that we have. I am having a difficult time coming up with questions for them right now because I feel that my questions are not easy to ask or easy to answer (especially via email). As we get closer to moving to Haiti, I am sure I'll come up with specific logistical-type questions.

One of the more strange things to be going through is to continue to work at my job. Six months ago (to the day as a matter of fact) I started a new job. The days in my old job leading up to my last day were strange as well because we were talking about things that were to happen in the future when I wouldn't be there. Now, it is a little different. I haven't told my director anything about the missionary possibility because if it does not happen, I don't want anything to be in the back of her mind about my future there.

My heart is simply no longer in my work at my job. I have little interest or motivation to do the things that I need to do - a true test of perseverance. I continue to pray that if the Lord does not take us to Haiti that He will provide me with a renewed perspective regarding my current job so that it doesn't seem so burdensome. I would assume that most who consider missionary work and have other jobs go through this same thought process of their existing situation.

Another thing that I keep trying to focus on is what life will be like at BHM. I want to do the things that I think we'll be doing there. There will be no TV. There will be limited internet access. There will be a lot of quiet time. To prepare us for this, we have done and I am trying to do a number of things. We got rid of our TV (as I mentioned in the last post), I am trying to spend more time sitting and reading with the family when I get home (Tina does that a bit with the children now during homeschooling), and I want to continue to think of and find things that we'll be doing there.

Another thing that I want to make sure is solid is our family devotional and prayer time. We have been reading devotionals together since about the beginning of the year or slightly before on a consistent basis. We just started a prayer list last night and I hope to continue that. We have to start getting ready for bedtime about an hour earlier to accomplish this. If the Lord leads us to Haiti, this type of family time is an absolute must! We must Gird our Mind (read / listen)!